Brexit: The Progressive Logic of Pooh


“How did you vote?” Asked Pooh.

“I voted Leave” said Piglet.

“You’re a racist and a xenophobe” said Pooh.

“Why do you say that?” Asked Piglet.

“Because only small minded xenophobes and racists voted Leave.” Said Pooh.

“Labelling people and slur slinging is what progressive wood animals do instead of arguments.” Said Piglet.

“That sounds like racist talk to me.” Said Pooh. “Didn’t you vote Leave because you don’t like Heffalumps?”

“No, I only have a problem with the Heffalumps who want to blow up the woods. I did it because I want to be able to remove the animals in charge of the woods if they do things I don’t like, that’s what the wood was built on.” Replied Piglet.

“Being able to remove the animals in charge is over-rated Piglet. It’s much better to permanently hand control of the woods over to an elite with a vision of the ideal wood.” Said Pooh.

“Where did you hear that?” Asked Piglet.

George Soros told me in the Guardian.” Replied Pooh.

“I think that’s called a politburo.” Said Piglet.

“A what?” Asked Pooh.

“A dictatorship” Replied Piglet. “I seem to remember reading a book set in a farmyard about that… Hang on a minute Pooh, weren’t you the one arguing against Globalization of the woods 10 years ago? Why are you all for a Superwood now?”

“Being part of the Superwood means that we can swap thing with other woods and we can go on holiday. All the  young animals think it’s a great idea.” Said Pooh

“Young animals are not known for great ideas Pooh, they like shiny things that move quickly and flash on and off.” Said Piglet. “Anyway, the Superwood is in trouble Pooh. It’s all a mess. Some woods collect lots of twigs and others don’t. Christopher Robin has been studying woods at school, and he thinks that the Superwood is just one big storm away from all the trees falling down. I think it’s best if we leave before the big storm, and look after our wood. And then we can swap bundles of twigs and branches with who we like.”

“Only a fascist would think like that.” Said Pooh.

“You’re probably right Pooh.” Said Piglet. “But we’re still friends right? Wanna go for a beer?”

“Fuck off Piglet, I don’t drink with racist scum!” Said Pooh.

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