
The Bad Medicine Years
Early in the New Year it was announced that someone in China had accidentally spilt some CIA monkey juice on the floor of a bioweapons lab run by Dr Faustus. Royal state media reported that it had escaped and started to spread amongst the population.
This was the opportunity the Reptile Club and their young leaders had been waiting for – Gaston continued to allow in flights from China for another week, and then, once the infection had spread sufficiently to warrant an emergency response, he immediately closed the country down.
Unfortunately most people in Peopleland still trusted the government. They had grown up under the benevolent reign of Brian the Boring, and naively believed that the emperor still had their best interests at heart. They were unaware that the contract had been rewritten and that the Reptile Club was now in charge.
Gaston rushed to unite the people behind him by removing all of their rights in the name of safety. The people were told that they were ‘All in this together’ and were encouraged by state media to bang pots at 7pm in support of medical staff busy making Tik-Tok videos.
His government introduced Leninist slogans such as ‘Doing the right thing’ & ‘Being there for one another’. They became rallying cries for Gaston and his ministers, who would recite these spells during public announcements; encouraging everyone to come together under the flag of safety through total obedience to Gaston. He declared Peopleland the safest country on earth, and that no faithful citizen would ever die of anything ever again if they simply ‘did the right thing’.
Anyone who opposed the measures, or questioned the authenticity of the threat was labeled an ‘Enemy of Goodness’, and Gaston openly questioned whether they should continue to ‘tolerate such people’.
By now, the people of Peopleland had become divided into two groups – the loyalists who were still hypnotized by Gaston’s policy magic and transfixed by the fear his Royal state media conjured up, and the rebels who now saw through his illusion, and feared for the future in what was now fast becoming a cruel and despotic reign.
After a winter of lockdowns and a conveyor belt of media manufactured fear, Gaston announced to the people that a new magic medicine was coming that would enable them to have their freedom back. He told the people all they had to do was get the government injection and they could ‘go back to normal’.
Anyone who asked what was in the injection was labeled a ‘Science Denier’, and accused of attempting to ‘kill Grandma’.
Gaston said that the injection contained only goodness and no badness. And although the people who made the injection had only ever tested it on animals – all of which had died by the way – and wouldn’t say what was in it, Gaston granted them Royal immunity from responsibility if anything went wrong. He declared the medicine ‘safe & effective’.
Gaston said that getting the medicine was a choice, but a week later declared that anyone who didn’t get it couldn’t ‘go back to normal’. He announced that anyone who did not volunteer to take the injection of unknown goodness would lose their jobs and not be able to travel. He even decreed that children who did not choose to get the injection would be cast out of society.
Gaston issued passes to those who decided to ‘do the right thing’. They were declared clean and could ‘go back to normal’, but those who still refused were branded unclean and outcasts.
Some people were really enjoying this. The bad medicine years and Gaston’s public acts of cruelty brought out the worst in some of the citizens of the new and diversely inclusive Trans-Islamic Republic of Peopleland. Those who were firmly latched onto the teet of Royal state media behaved the worst. This section of society started to become fanatically obsessed with safety and compliance, to the point where they viewed non-compliance to be a crime worthy of imprisonment and even death.
‘Why should we tolerate those who refuse ‘to do the right thing’’? ‘Let them die!’ They shouted from the comment sections of Royal state media, which also dutifully deleted any comments that questioned the medicine mandates.
On one occasion, Gaston boasted to his ministers that his loyal followers would be willing throw unvaccinated children into ovens if the Royal state media told them to do it. Such people lined up to get their children the injections completely unaware that this was a Reptile Club initiative.
At the same time, the people who had started to see through Gaston’s grand illusion began to organize and protest against the medicine mandates. Gaston started to sense that time was running out. So despite everything being closed down, Gaston decided that this would be the best time to call a snap election in the hope of gaining a majority; then he could commit some real tyranny on those who opposed goodness.
In the election, Gaston narrowly secured another even smaller minority government. He hated the idea that the people would say no to him. He extended his medicine mandates to include people who delivered food for a living – Uber Munch, Delivery-O & Skip the Liberty, and declared that their drivers would need to get the medicine if they wanted to feed the people trapped at home.
This time the people had had enough. They had become completely reliant on home delivery during the lockdowns, and had forgotten how to feed themselves. They organized and gathered together under Gaston’s Imperial balcony and booed him when he appeared that Sunday to address the nation. Gaston declared them all ‘Racists’ & ‘White Supremacists’ and vowed that he would take everything away from them.
The next morning he told the Police of Infinite Justice and Goodness to create a threat that would allow Gaston to impose martial law. Then he got Royal state media to declare that there were people who wanted to hurt his government and that he would need to use special powers to deal with them. These powers were usually saved for war, but as far as Gaston was concerned this was WAR.
The Police of Infinite Justice and Goodness took four men from one of the protests and accused them of being revolutionaries. Gaston threw them in jail and declared martial law. He also announced that anyone who dared to protest against him would be crushed by his Royal cavalry.
After weeks of protest in the main square under the very balcony that Gaston waved from each Sunday, thousands of protesters, including many elderly and children, stood peacefully in the snow reciting prayers as Gaston’s Infinite Justice and Goodness moved in and began beating them to the ground with clubs and trampling them under horses. The fresh blood of the good people of Peopleland decorated the snow as his police officers took to social media to boast of their brutality and how the overtime was paying for their swimming pools.
Gaston had finally become a real dictator, just like his real father. Now he had supreme power and the people were terrified. He sat back to savour this moment… He loved the feeling of crushing the people and could now see why his real father had enjoyed it so much.
Gaston vowed to destroy all those who dared stand against him. He announced that his government would seize all their property, including their children, and freeze the bank accounts of all those involved. His deputy minister – the one whose grandfather had accidentally been a Nazi – announced that anyone who donated more than $25 to the protests would also be cut off from their money, rendering them unable to support or feed themselves or their family.
However, Gaston did not consider the effects his actions might have on Peopleland, or that international investors might become nervous and start pulling their money out of the Trans-Islamic Republic of Peopleland, concerned that it might also be confiscation by the Gaston regime.
Gaston didn’t know it yet, but he had just overstepped the mark. In just five days the Royal Bank of Peopleland lost $8 billion as nervous international investors did exactly that, whilst the people of Peopleland also started pulling their money out of the banks in protest.
The Reptile Club who ran the banks immediately called Gaston and instructed him to cancel martial law, concerned that the bank run in Peopleland could spread to other Reptile Club nations and cause their entire financial empire to collapse.
The next day, Gaston was forced by his reptilian overlords to cancel martial law and reassure everyone that their money was safe in Peopleland. This put an end to the financial losses, but in brutally suppressing the protests against him, Gaston had revealed himself as a petulant and vengeful boy king who was willing to destroy anyone who dared to say ‘No’.



