The Devil Collects

Gaston’s inability to step down from power gracefully cost his both his dynasty and his country dearly. His attempts to hide from his ministers had demonstrated that he was willing to sacrifice anything and anyone in order to cling to power, even if it was just for a few moments longer. During his last few days, he even tried to start a war with King Donny in order to stay in power, but there was no escaping his fate – the devil was collecting on his Faustian deal.

Gaston was found a nice quiet desk job by his handlers at the Reptile Club, in a corner office at the U.N. where he spent the next two years shredding Pedo Island flight logs. In the meantime, Peopeland crowned a new slightly edgy beige emperor who promised to return the country to an era of common sense.

Emperor Peter the Fairly Good, as he became known, attempted to repair the destruction the Gaston reign had wrought on the country and avoid being consumed by King Donny’s new Empire of Awesomeness, but global events eclipsed his efforts in 2026 when, after decades of wobbling, the entire global financial system finally collapsed.

It turned out that it wasn’t just Gaston who had printed and spent too much money – every emperor of every country had been doing the same thing. The Reptile Club had attempted to control the inevitable by imposing a ‘Great Reset’ – a new economic system that would ensure that the collapse would happen on their terms with the enslavement of all of humanity under a centralized system, but this had ultimately failed and now an uncontrolled collapse had befallen the entire planet.

At first there was chaos. The banks collapsed; no one could get any money. What cash there was in circulation became worthless as soon as everyone realized that they were not going ‘back to normal’ this time.

With the collapse the societal and political order was turned upside down. Things that had been important or valuable suddenly became unimportant and worthless, and the things that people had taken for granted, all of a sudden became priceless.

People cast off the indulgencies of the Gaston years as quickly as a defeated soldier casts off his uniform. Men & women re-established their traditional roles based on mutual needs, and despite the hardships, people started living more fulfilled and simple lives.

It turned out that all anyone needed to do to end the decades long insanity of Inclusive diversity was turn the electricity off, and…Poof! It all disappeared in a moment like a one of Gaston’s tricks.

The central pillars of control for the Reptile Club had been the armies of woke women, and the fringe minority groups that were established to undermine the pre-enlightenment society of diverse inclusivity. For years under Gaston these minority fringe groups enjoyed nobility status; they were empowered and indulged; feted in the press, and employed to force Gaston’s political enemies into acts of public humiliation. However, there was little use for them in a post collapse world.

Without community or skills, these groups starved to death waiting for the government to come and save them, or became food for migrants in the sanctuary cities they shared. Whilst those grass roots communities that had established themselves during the Bad Medicine years – militias, church communities & online ‘hate’ groups etc. now provided the best avenue for survival.

However, the global financial collapse also offered King Donny the Tremendous the opportunity to achieve his imperial desire to consume the already weakened Peopleland and turn it into an energy theme park called 51^st State.

King Donny’s tanks rolled into the main square and pulled down the statue of Gaston letting go of the stroller as he rushed to embrace the drag queens on Gay Day. His soldiers shouted ‘fuck yeah’ and chugged tiny cans of piss in celebration. King Donny told the people of Peopleland that the tiny cans of piss his troops drank were the biggest and best anyone had ever seen, and that they were there to liberate the people from their feudal servitude to the Reptile Club.

The people of Peopleland didn’t know what to think – they had never had a leader like King Donny the Tremendous – who was equal part genius and idiot – all they had ever known was boring and mega-idiot.

After establishing stability in Peopleland, King Donny’s first order of business was to locate all members of the Gaston & Bollywood regime.

Gaston and his ministers had all gone into hiding, mainly to secluded cottages surrounding the capital where they hoped to remain undetected whilst they lived out the rest of their sordid lives quietly engaged in Reptile Club pastimes like hosting Diddy parties and dressing up as forest animals whilst holding babies.

Bollywood & his ministers first tried hiding in a Maserati showroom, but were asked to leave when it became obvious they weren’t serious about buying anything. So they went to ground in Brampton & Surrey where they wouldn’t be seen.

Meanwhile King Donny’s 19 yr old autistic investigators started uncovering evidence of fraud on a massive scale and misuse of public money. It turned out that Peopleland had been a rich country, but the Gaston and Bollywood had siphoned off large amounts and spent the rest of it on trannies and Fentanyl.

King Donny promised that Gaston the Incredible, Barry Bollywood, and every member of their regime would be caught and brought to justice.

Gaston’s Minister of Supreme Justice, Mario Mentida was arrested the week after whilst ‘popping into town’ to trawl for teenage boys. And then a few weeks later, his former Minister of Supreme Goodness – the one whose father had accidentally been a Nazi – was caught when her uncontrollable public twitching gave her away during a visit to a petting zoo.    

Each capture was announced to great excitement by the public, but for some time the big prize of Gaston the Incredible still eluded them. King Donny promised that Gaston would be caught, and a few weeks later on Tremendous Day – formerly known as Gay Day, Gaston was finally captured hiding in a storm drain near a former safe injection site still wearing his trademark black face, after his bodyguard had abandoned him and disclosed his location to one of Tony Tesla’s 19 yr old autistic intelligence officers.

The damage the Gaston regime had caused was inter-generational, as was now the appetite for reckoning. King Donny the Tremendous announced that trials for all members of the Gaston regime would take place on un-ceded empty Chinese condo territory in Downtown Vancouver, which seemed only fitting given that was where the majority of the fentanyl money had been laundered.

Despite Barry Bollywood and his diet-Soviet grifters still being at large in the urban foliage of culturally enriched cities, King Donny set the trial date for the 29^th September – Truth & Reconciliation Day as it had been known, but then announced that the name would be changed to Surf’s Up Day in memory of how Gaston traditionally spent the national holiday he introduced.